fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
