wanna go halves on a baby?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
