fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize