Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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