if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize