Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
