I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
