she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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