he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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