Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
