Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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