btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
