If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
