just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
