she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
