How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize