ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
