hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
