I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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