I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
