I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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