Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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