here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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