you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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