Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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