who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
