btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I haven't been this sober since birth.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
