every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
