We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
