She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
