my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
