I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
