and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize