we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
