My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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