Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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