ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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