Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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