....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
