I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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