Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
