dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
