Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
