I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
