I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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