Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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