there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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