Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
