And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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