there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
