morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
