i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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