so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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