the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
