Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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