But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
