I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
