His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
