Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I would fuck him just for his dog
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
