I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
