I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
