Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
