My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
